Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Can and Can't

Things You Can Do With a Broken Elbow:

Make two quiches in advance for a group dinner in which you're providing the meal.

Drive a car.

Scoop dry pet food into bowls (but not open a can).

Apply a band-aid to a kid's finger.

Load a dishwasher.

Type, with the customized, removable brace that everyone says is stylish.

Jaywalk.

Open a jar of spaghetti sauce.

Text.

Using teeth, help a kindergartener open a sticky glue stick.

Carry a cup of tea, bagel, and cream cheese with one hand.

Shop for groceries.

Etc.

Things You Can not Do With a Broken Elbow:

Open a bottle of wine.

Tie Shoes.

Dump a pot of boiling water and pasta through a colander.

Put an uncooked quiche into the fridge.

Stack chairs.

Sweep.

Mop.

Scrub dishes.

Cut onions.

Peel potatoes.

Put your hair into a ponytail or style it in any way at all.

Zip shut a lunch box.

Hook a bra closed.

Hold a baby.

I also discovered today that I can't stand upright doing stretching exercises in occupational therapy without passing out and having to lay perfectly still with elevated legs for half an hour.

All things considered, it's not so bad.

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